How to Make Deferens Between True LOVE and Limited LOVE

·    TRUE (UNCONDITIONAL) LOVE

·         Wants the others happiness

·         Accepting of flaws and imperfections

·         Loves beyond the body

·         Seeks correction for mistakes

·         Effective coping strategies

·         Prefers to be happy (rather than right)

·         Puts others well-being first

·         Lives in a “we” universe

·         Sees partner as equal

·         Communicates to empower  Lets injustices go

·         Supports and elevates

·         Loyal to growth

·         Wishes them peace

·         Avoids guilt

·         Patient and willing

·         Marries to share values

·         Sex is a meaningful connection

LIMITED (ROMANTIC) LOVE

·         Wants the others compliance

·         Rejects ALL signs of imperfections

·         Love is limited to body and behavior

·         Seeks to punish for mistakes

·         Dysfunctional coping strategies

·         Prefers to be right (than happy)

·         Puts personal agenda first

·         Lives in a “me” universe

·         Sees partner as inferior or superior

·         Communicates to dis empowered

·         Measures and keeps score

·         Threatens and humiliates

·         Loyal to comfort zones 

·         Wishes them pain 

·         Traffics heavily in guilt 

·         Impatient and unwilling 

·         Marries to get needs met ,  Sex is a means to an end.

Depending on the type of love you have, forgiving your partner will be the easiest (or the hardest) thing you’ll ever have to do. Because love without forgiveness is like a bird without wings — it has very limited range. Forgiveness is the “what” that gives ordinary love the wings that lift it up beyond limits, beyond ego, beyond pride and even beyond the understanding of most people. So when friends and family say they can’t comprehend how you could even think about forgiving them, smile. Because True Love does surpass all understanding. 

pretending to forgive 

TRUE FORGIVENESS Inspired by love 

·       Lets go of the past                                                     

·        Allows the wounds to heal

·        Willing to forget

·        Releases the hurt

·        Takes on no guilt

·        Unconditional, no strings attached

·        Given as a gift (no risk)

·        Freely given (never earned)

·        Compassionate view of mistakes

·        No exclusions

·        Views self as equal to others

·        Views forgiving as a favor to one’s self

FALSE (Counterfeit) FORGIVENESS

·         Motivated by fear, guilt or ego 

·         Keeps the past alive in the mind 

·         Picks at the scabs of the wounds 

·         Never lets you forget 

·         Suppresses the hurt 

·         Takes on guilt for what happened 

·         Strings, terms and conditions attached 

·         Seen as an investment (therefore, risky) 

·         Must be earned (never freely given) 

·         Contemptuous view of mistakes 

·         Lists many exclusions and expectations 

·         Views self as better than or superior to others 

·         Views forgiveness as a “favor” done for others  

how to forgive 

Forgiveness waits on your decision, not on time. Keep in mind that while you’re waiting on

time to decide, you’re also losing your own time and energy to bitterness and anger. So why

put off your own healing? Time is not the deciding factor — YOU are. Remember, time will

never give you permission to do anything; only you can do that. And since you’re the only

decision maker, I would suggest you make the decision to forgive sooner than later. 

Forgiveness is not about doing; It’s about undoing. It’s not about learning; It’s about unlearning. It’s not about adding anything; It’s about clearing away the obstacles. Do this and you’ll be surprised how quickly forgiveness happens. For some, it happens instantly. For others, it comes more slowly, but surely.